Friday 14 September 2012

Experience 30


Growing up from a toddler to a teenager, there was always this long school holiday that was totally boring and tasteless. The day just dragged on and on and did not want to come to an end as one continued rolling on the bed. There was simply nothing to do and achieve.
Wishful thinking no. 1 -- grow up faster.

Came the teenager phase with the strict house rules, simply torturing and unbreathable. Rebellious was at the highest peak. Temper was as tough as the steel that cannot be bent. Manners with love ones was shoved under the bed covered with spider webs and dust. The longing for a rules free life was stronger than ever.
Wishful thinking no.2 -- leave home.

Yippe, finally far far away from home, surrounded only by friends. But reality hits. All those years without much social life has proved to be a burden. A headtrong baskit who made more enemies than friends. All left was the yearning to finish the study and get the hell out of there. 
Wishful thinking no. 3 -- graduate ASAP and start a new life.

First day of work was filled with excitement. Everything was new and interesting, the learning for work and also how to be a typical working class. Personality learnt to be softer and friendlier but it certianly did not take long before it turned dull and monotonous. Suddenly life was about nothing else but getting a bigger pay check, bigger house and bigger car. Cycles and cycles of debts going in circles as blinded by rediculous desire that has no balance or any sort of affordability control.
Wishful thinking no. 4 -- bigger pay check.

Fate took a twist and directed to a foreign land with a total alien language. On top of that, the perspective on life is totally different. What is needed are greens and nature and the rest are just add ons. Public transport is at its best. One live without a car in a 55cm² flat. Turning 30 in this land broaden the mind and soul in many different levels. Gone are the desire for bigger pay check for a bigger house but a more balance life in a puny and furnished only the required flat. No more is there a need to get a bigger car to be stucked in the traffic jam but the need to be on time to catch the tram and train. Impulsiveness is scrutinzed by meticulousness. Simplicity manifested itself stronger and stronger day by day.
Wishful thinking no. 5 -- simple life.

Looking back at the years that has slipped away silently, it felt funny yet strange. Not because of what had happened, or what had been decided and done, but more on the feelings and 'how I wish it could...' as the years piled on and how quickly those wishful thinking changed its course without one realising it. Look likes life got greedier day by day. There is just no point in life when one has had enough and desire less. Until, life tires one out. Only then will the realization come, like the finger pricked by a needle, a painful awakening.

On this altitude and latitude, bablingfish wants to cheeris the next 30 or 40 more possible simple years to come. 

Wednesday 29 August 2012

奔波

刚进入职场时的那几年, 都很羡慕同事们到外国出差。不但可以半免费式的旅行,还有一笔可观的津贴。

人就是那么的贱。在还没拥有时一味怨老天爷不给机会,拥有后却又眷恋的回顾那段平平无奇, 稳定的日子。是不是终要挨过了才懂得珍惜曾经拥有的简单?

换个角度, 在人生的地图里又多了一站。 好坏与否, 经历了就等于上了宝贵的一堂课。 尤如小朋友们第一天上学, 陌生的环境, 许多陌生的脸孔, 有些一脸彷徨, 有些一把鼻涕一把泪, 严厉中带点亲切的老师。 还有那阴森又带倦容的老阿伯。面对这种 种,免不了逃避, 情不自禁的紧握衣角,再把头往胸里塞。 最终老师点名了, 无可奈何的松开了又冷又湿的手。多么希望当抬头时看见的是亲爱的妈妈而不是一个陌生人。每一天都带着不安的心情上课。不知道要怎样面对和回答其他小朋友的问题。应该嬉皮笑脸,无所顧虑的还是小心翼翼的?这一战在内心里打了很久, 但也随着日子一天一天的过,是乎有点眉目。 放松了戒备, 放松了心情,放下了武器 的同时也适应了环境。开始交谈, 开始认识, 开始深交, 开始爱上了一起学习的日子。

究终累了。想停下来喘口气,享受下生活。无需大豪宅和大房车,只想要和心爱的人一起步行到菜市场买菜。天气好时一起做便当野餐。 其时生活真的可以那么简单。在科技还未发达前,没有汽车, 没有豪宅,一切还不是一手一脚办好?要知足。不知足之会让你不停的跑,越跑越累至到崩溃。就算家财万贯但已是岁月催人老,错过的人生再也买不回。最讽刺的是,最后得把一点一滴赚来的钱一大笔一大笔的捐给医院。是,拥有豪宅大房车佣人是个成功人士, 年轻人的榜样。可错过的时间,青春 和健康?之能想当年如果这样和那样。。。改变不了。一切都应该有个平衡线。

又有多少人可以两者兼得的?

四方鱼开始厌倦了每周东西南北奔跑的日子。想念当年早九晚五的过去。虽然是很可贵的经验,但四方鱼开始认为这代价太高了。赔了快乐的同时也赔了健康。